Wednesday, January 28, 2009

post-Writer's block

The first semester in NSIT was rather uneventful contrary to what I had expected. Occasional ragging, intermittently attending classes during bunking hours, numerous 'can-I-have-your-number' encounters and a few birthday party type sprees do not qualify as 'events' at all.
However, most of the time I was left retrospecting as well introspecting. Especially during those flat 3 hours I spend in traveling in metro, up and down.
The journey in the metro is not tedious and its definitely not boring. At least not for a people-watching-over-analyzing-ruthless-observer as me. I admit its fun to try to read their thoughts when they make those faces. Like the man who almost jumps off the running metro (had the windows had no glass) when asked to get up by a woman (you know those new "Only for ladies" stickers pasted in every compartment.) Or that 'oh-so-intelligent' young man who walks past all the queues and stands right on that red mark (showing the flow of passengers deboarding the metro) in the middle of the two yellow arrows where he was supposed to stand.
Phew! Anyway, once I get the seat (by sheer luck) I sit, put my headphones on and begin to listen to the songs in my E71. That is the time I go deeper into my thoughts, and have an urge to write. This urge lasts as long as I get down at my destination. After that its only today that I have been able to bring it home.
While listening to songs, I find myself shuffling through the songs, stopping only to listen to the lighthearted carefree non emotional ones. Plus I have this funny urge to spot the 'good-looking' guys around, a rare sight, and this just for the heck of it. I may not have the slightest inclination of going beyond just throwing that one look, but it still is fun nonetheless. Most of the times I end up spotting the guys checking me out, followed by me reasoning with myself that all they want to do is just 'see'. They have this peculiar pleasure in just staring and staring and staring. Love has got nothing to do with it, and I know its never gonna be the way I thought (long back) it was supposed to be. Then I notice I have become way too practical (for good) and I kinda like this non-attachment sort of attitude. Maybe its good coz its easy and painless. Or perhaps I have learnt what life teaches everyone- to never act on impulse(read as emotions). We all know it- we are supposed to be hard headed. Life robs us of the joys and pure ecstasy of that 'first love', the excitement and thrill of that 'first kiss', the madness and devotion of that 'first relationship' and the sheer selflessness of the 'firsts' in our life. After that,once we fall (the lucky ones just stumble), we dust ourselves off and start again-this time with the mind more in the greater picture and the heart under "special thanks to".
Maybe its just a trick. To make dying easier.
Whatever it is... I still haven't figured it out.
Oh, by the way
Happy new year :)

1 comment:

anisha said...

I loved ur sarcasm in saying,'I think...therefore I am dangerous'.I wish I could have written that for ma blog.
Hmm,the comment is not related to this blog of urs,but anyways jus wanted to tell.