Wednesday, May 13, 2009

...'Coz Lifez Lyk Dis!

I never thought life will bring me here where all my convictions will go into a conflicting battle of ethics and emotions. Nothing in this life is an absolute right or wrong. If you stand like a third person and suggest "so and so should have been in this and that manner" you are the most outrageous person to do so. You cannot know a situation until and unless you are in it yourself. I am feeling like a fool to think that there was a time I felt that I could decide everything that should be done in a situation. But this thing called life throws at you much more than you think you can handle. Always. Once you recoil after being foiled, you sit back and analyze your perspective about life. And then you find out whats wrong. One thing is constant- nothing is absolute. Nothing is pure black and pure white. There are millions and millions of shades of gray. And being human we are prone to misinterpret every shade from another which is a nuance darker or lighter. I'm human and no matter how hard I try, I fail to understand why life is the way it is. Why does it have to make you do the things you decided you wouldn't be driven into?

Exactly. You sit down and decide today "No matter what happens, I will never do XYZ (some random thing)  ever in my life". Next day your life will begin to weave that web to trap you into it and there you are... busted! So you dare to think you are the master of your own life? I believed that too. But this 'thing' makes me realize there is someone watching over me and telling me "What you see here, believe here, is not the truth."
Everything changes when you yourself are put in the situation you saw your friends in and probably pitied them...or looked at them with contempt ...or simply laughed at them. But when the origin shifts, like in Math, positives can become negative. And vice versa.

I know what situation I am into, and only I know what it feels like to be in it. Nobody's philosophy helps because I know the burden of decision is on me. Its never as easy as it seems. I have been fooling myself enough about "ethics" until I was zapped into my face "there is no such thing as that!"
No I am not complaining. Its an epiphany I wanted to share. With those who have been through it, or are yet to go through it. All I have to say is "Just NEVER judge any one's actions."  You don't know what is driving him/her to do that. If a man has murdered his friend, he doesn't have to be cruel. There are other options to. Infinitely many. Human mind is so small to comprehend all this.
All this just makes me want to break away from my set of 'principles', 'beliefs', 'ideals' and what not. Its all trash. You build them for your whole life just to see the next generation spit on them. Its not what life is all about. I don't exactly know what it is about, but its certainly not this. 

I'm losing it now. Gotta find a new me. And soon.


Oh Girl ! said...

My dear Friend.

I me myself said...

I know how it feels, been through it.... so I can imagine (At least to some extent) what you are going through..)

Still, I would say, we do need some set of principles/ beliefs/ ideals at each stage of our lives(though these might change later)...
At each new stage of our life, we have a new origin and a new direction - without an origin we will be directionless dear friend...

dolce far niente said...

life throws at you only what it knows you are capable of handlin. so jus believe in your own self. :)

and bout ethics...
well they are not stationary or constant.. they are dynamic... changing as you discover yourself through years. but yes everybody has their own ethics.

Grivan said...

be easy on mona!
first of all, the fact: the life is itself absolute what more do you need absolute?
and about the principles never ever lose them, they are all you have, just adapt them!
btw never thought you think sooo much!

anisha said...

There is no automatic form o understanding the right views in life.With age one learns things and then try to make one's own philosophy.But,there is always a stage which has to be reached.Before that our own views are just building and may change many times.Experiences and situations can always change them.But,the truth is altogether they don't just completely follow a contradictory path.If u could get what I am trying to put forth.

Something which I have also realized for myself is never to form opinions about others.

Fabregas said...

What is Life? I don't know but the BIG question is: Do we really want to know what it is? Well, in my individual opinion I think life is a game that we sooner or later realize of being forced to play by its rules, or else it screws us back in some way or another. It possesses its own bag of tricks from which it keeps throwing weird situations barefaced and just sit back and wait for our next move until we make a decision. Often it contradicts our beliefs/ideals but the true winner is the one that reaches the chalice while clinging to your values.
BTW I am new to your blog, I read your previous posts, some really interesting ones(Psst...have you seen him? :P)
and esp the Struggle Story. That is the real you, you need to just introspect a bit more (if at all you havent enough already :) )I am sure you will get your comeuppance at its own sweet time. Chao

spoiltfreak said...

I think u better know wat u'r suppose to do..

Neeraj said...

1)guy killing another guy for money which belonged to the dead guy.
2)guy killing another guy for revenge.
3)guy killing another guy just like that, for fun or satisfaction or something.
Find the 'bad' option. if any. and why/why not.

Manee said...


You mustn't try the 'fallacy of exhaustive hypotheses' with me. Or anyone.

Neeraj said...

i was not really trying that! i don't even know the meaning of that thing.
(I didn't mean to make u angry, if u are. I was just hoping to hear that none is bad, none is good.)

Manee said...

Oh that. I don't believe in black and white I understand that nothing is "bad" or "good".

But somehow, a total lack of order and rules can lead to anarchy and chaos. So some so called "ethics" become important, even if we don't like it.

My point was that people who don't stick to these so called "ethics" themselves, should not weigh other people's actions in the same beam balance.

Anonymous said...

Nice blog post. Some real worldly advice and thoughts.
I specially loved the mathematical reference - "But when the origin shifts, like in Math, positives can become negative. And vice versa".

But I would like to ask you one thing. I would like to know your opinion about ethics, and not the one that you've stated here.
Do you believe in ethics but because having to face 'situations' , you had to let 'em go (unwillingly)?
Or do you not believe in them at all, and are aware that ethics are just something, the seeds of which have been sowed in the minds of people, (for I don't know what reason), and following them is no harm, until the conflict between ethics and emotions arises?

Manee said...

It would be wrong if I say I don't have "ethics" ... but my set of ethics are much different from those of an average Indian (Offence or no offence,take it however way you want to).
To me lying is unnecessary. It is a weakness. So Telling "The Truth" is important. But NOT at the cost of ruining harmony. In that case, I'd rather shut up.
I don't believe in deception of any kind. We all deserve to know the reality- as it is. It is 'unethical' to violate someone's right to it.
But I don't go judging others...I mean I don't care what people chose to do behind their four walls as long as they are minding their own business.

Flash back...and imagine the Stone Age. There were no "ethics" as such. No marriages even, hence no concept of 'infidelity'. If heaven exists, did the whole population of that time went to Hell?

Gregarious said...

I get it. That would answer my question just fine.
And "Flash back...did the whole population of that time went to Hell?" said it! Totally what I would have emphasized. Too much of everything has been decided for us already. The path which we have to walk on has been predefined and allocated for us. Randomness has been stolen away and clasped down in a cold dark cellar. And randomness is what I would call a prerequisite for people from stone age as well as from today.

Gregarious said...

But I would like more insight into a few things still:
"To me lying is unnecessary. It is a weakness. So Telling "The Truth" is important."

What makes you decide lying is unnecessary? And most of all a weakness? Very confused about this. Care to explain?

And this :
"We all deserve to know the reality- as it is. It is 'unethical' to violate someone's right to it."

Unethical in what way? In whose definition of ethics are you prodding? Your own definition is quite contradictory. And since this is your thought, I would take it safe to assume that your definition applies here.

Manee said...

You asked me for my definition of ethics. Now I cannot explain why I don't like 'lying' is just inherent in me. I don't understand why there is a need to hide the truth.
But if you give me some specific example, such as some national crisis about which the government cannot be honest about, then of course I'd understand that.

I already told you I don't think in terms of black and white. So don't take my words so verbatim.

Anonymous said...

So u r saying that if somebody lies just like that, you would hate him. But even if you were asked to give him advice, you won't say 'you should not lie. It is a weakness.' right?

Manee said...

I don't "hate" anyone actually.

But yes, I'd rather stay away from liars. I can't bond with them.

And if the advice is asked, then yes. I would say the same.

Gregarious said...

Your replies are sort of inconsistent with what you say in your blog posts. As to not taking your words verbatim, you should choose your words more carefully then. They don't convey what you mean.
And about that lying, not lying debate, you seem prejudiced. And that is exactly what you have been trying to oppose in a number of your blog posts.

Manee said...

First, it is stupid to try to understand my thoughts via a few blog posts/comments.

Second, do enumerate how my posts are inconsistent ?
You don't know me. And this is no way of going about it.