Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Connoisseur of Beauteousness

I love to watch beautiful women. Now I understand that it is an odd statement to make considering I am myself a woman. But I assure you, I am straight. I love to watch everything God has created. When I am alone, I love to see the wind blow through the dappled greens of the trees, the way a squirrel rushes up and down of it. The birds in the sky…the clouds – each with a different story to tell. Isn’t all the beauty of the world overwhelming? Sometimes I just feel my heart can’t take it anymore and it would just explode with wonderment!
Woman – God does take time to create some beautiful faces. This is dedicated to that pretty lady I saw in the women’s compartment of metro in the blue line while returning from college. She had snow white skin, exquisitely shaped nose, rose pink petite lips and a tall scrawny frame. I kept watching her for about 30 minutes right from Dwarka mor to Rajiv Chowk station. Now you must think me a pervert!
These days it is so difficult to appreciate a woman if you are a woman yourself! That day I scared off an old school friend of mine - because I asked her to grant me the access of her albums on facebook – because she is so beautiful. Hah! Obviously she got freaked out and I got totally mortified, is it not unfair that it is considered unnatural for a woman to be able to appreciate another? Why is ‘envy’ the only feeling that is considered ‘natural’ between two women? Since I am not supposed to whine in this post, I would abstain from mentioning how hypocritical this thing is.
This picture above in my post is of Amelia Vega who became the Miss Universe in 2003, when I was in 8th standard. I was gaping at the TV screen whenever she appeared on it. The female body is so beautiful – God’s best creation I’d say. So mesmerising.
I think I must stop telling women how beautiful they are because it just gets creepy. I am never in a position to explain it to them that ‘Hello, I am straight as hell – I have enough crushes to prove that to you’ but….er… it’s awkward. I think I must keep my distance now. Sex is so overrated – people think attraction = sexual attraction. There are men whose faces and bodies too I adore, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to go to bed with them! So is the case with women. (I was checking out Barbara Mori as much as Hrithik in ‘Kites’). I attribute this habit of mine to the fact that I am the daughter of an artist. My mom has always appreciated the female face and body. I have seen her sketches of the nude study. And that perhaps is the reason of my liberal attitude.
So I think people should just start thinking beyond the baser instincts of the man. Appreciation of beauty has nothing to do with my hormonal activity per se.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I love India. But I loathe Indians. Such hypocrisy! Such double standards! I am stuck amidst a world of pretence and plastic usool aur aadarsh!

I came to know about a family that had lived near our house. They were husband and wife and two children, a boy and a girl. The sister of the wife used to live with them. She could not get married because the society ‘thought’ there were illicit relations between the sister-in-law and the man. But I ALWAYS thought, our orthodox society is very judgemental, it needn’t be like that. A healthy friendship, a sacred relationship could exist.

Now the daughter (let’s name her ‘ansy’ and the sister in law –who was much younger to her sister- let’s call her ‘nitty’), was of my age. She never went to college and did some correspondence course. But ansy and nitty were ALWAYS busy gossiping about me, what I wore and where I went. They assumed I was characterless and sleeping around (would they be shocked to know that I am in my 3rd year and STILL a virgin?), and I assumed it was because they have nothing better to do. Nothing that I write here is an assumption; I have strong reasons to believe in what I believe in.

Just a day or two ago, from reliable sources, I came to know that there was ACTUALLY some physical relationship between nitty and the man. And I was shocked, not at the human temptations and their pitfalls, but rather at the fact that they could assume such stuff about others! They could call other girls characterless and on what basis?

Maybe a person who is a strict almost ascetic orthodox, if such a person dislikes the outgoing nature of a woman, it may be understandable. But what double standards man! Why would you comment of someone else’s sexual lifestyle if you yourself are so base? And this is just one family’s story I am sharing.

I used to believe, living chastely as me, untouched is the Indian way of life. If not all, at least 90% of the women are like that. But now there are too many facts (not hearsay) to prove how wrong I was! This Indian society is a huge stage where people are playing the roles they no longer adhere to in real life. Well I have NO PROBLEM with anyone’s sexual preferences! I only dislike physical intimacy for the heck of pleasing your outer senses while your heart feels nothing. But it’s downright irritating to see Indians talk shit about females who speak their mind, go out of the house to work or simply refuse to be servile enough. Typical male chauvinist pigs are abundant in the land of the Kama Sutra.

Then my belief of some quality in a place like NSIT was also shattered to ground when I came across the internal website of NSIT - Nothing but who and who is a slut/bitch/whore is all that that goes on there. Men abroad, I am sure, do not call the girls of their college by such derogatory terms if they wear short skirts, or get a professional photo-shoot or simply exist as a pretty girl. Such hypocrites I tell you!

I want to leave this country as soon as possible. Whatever. It sucks being a part of a huge social drama where people impose the standards that they themselves refuse to adhere to. I am outa here!!