Tuesday, May 3, 2011

I love India. But I loathe Indians. Such hypocrisy! Such double standards! I am stuck amidst a world of pretence and plastic usool aur aadarsh!

I came to know about a family that had lived near our house. They were husband and wife and two children, a boy and a girl. The sister of the wife used to live with them. She could not get married because the society ‘thought’ there were illicit relations between the sister-in-law and the man. But I ALWAYS thought, our orthodox society is very judgemental, it needn’t be like that. A healthy friendship, a sacred relationship could exist.

Now the daughter (let’s name her ‘ansy’ and the sister in law –who was much younger to her sister- let’s call her ‘nitty’), was of my age. She never went to college and did some correspondence course. But ansy and nitty were ALWAYS busy gossiping about me, what I wore and where I went. They assumed I was characterless and sleeping around (would they be shocked to know that I am in my 3rd year and STILL a virgin?), and I assumed it was because they have nothing better to do. Nothing that I write here is an assumption; I have strong reasons to believe in what I believe in.

Just a day or two ago, from reliable sources, I came to know that there was ACTUALLY some physical relationship between nitty and the man. And I was shocked, not at the human temptations and their pitfalls, but rather at the fact that they could assume such stuff about others! They could call other girls characterless and on what basis?

Maybe a person who is a strict almost ascetic orthodox, if such a person dislikes the outgoing nature of a woman, it may be understandable. But what double standards man! Why would you comment of someone else’s sexual lifestyle if you yourself are so base? And this is just one family’s story I am sharing.

I used to believe, living chastely as me, untouched is the Indian way of life. If not all, at least 90% of the women are like that. But now there are too many facts (not hearsay) to prove how wrong I was! This Indian society is a huge stage where people are playing the roles they no longer adhere to in real life. Well I have NO PROBLEM with anyone’s sexual preferences! I only dislike physical intimacy for the heck of pleasing your outer senses while your heart feels nothing. But it’s downright irritating to see Indians talk shit about females who speak their mind, go out of the house to work or simply refuse to be servile enough. Typical male chauvinist pigs are abundant in the land of the Kama Sutra.

Then my belief of some quality in a place like NSIT was also shattered to ground when I came across the internal website of NSIT - gausipp.com. Nothing but who and who is a slut/bitch/whore is all that that goes on there. Men abroad, I am sure, do not call the girls of their college by such derogatory terms if they wear short skirts, or get a professional photo-shoot or simply exist as a pretty girl. Such hypocrites I tell you!

I want to leave this country as soon as possible. Whatever. It sucks being a part of a huge social drama where people impose the standards that they themselves refuse to adhere to. I am outa here!!

40 comments:

Ankur k said...

Rest assured , that so called internal website have so called studs of college who have business none other than poking into lives of other . And whatever shit they are speaking does not adhere to standards of any civil mind.People talk , you listen ( your choice ? ) , the point here is that (which is good ) they can only talk , cant do anything in real life...

Creation said...

That site is downright offensive. Don't you guys have a gender forum or a college complaints committee? Can't you take this thing to the authorities?

I can understand that living in an environment where such harassment and bullying is rampant, you probably might not want to... but this must stop, di!

In case you're clueless about who I am, I've known from your QMS days (that's why the 'di') and I know that the one thing that school taught us was to stand up for what we think is right, stand up for our rights and stand up against harassment.

I understand how blogging is a great way to start a campaign of sorts. Perhaps this post could be a start of the change that one can see NSIT desperately needs...

rj said...

WTF is going on in college, standard of technical jagron is falling, the machao spirit and enthu NSIT is all lost..
Trust me manee i have never been so disappointed by our clg janta over d past few days....
Hvnt ever said it, bt i feel fortunate that me passing out f clg jus at the ryt tym :(

Anonymous said...

On Gossip:
Gossip falls under unwarranted pleasures. Simple rants that speak no more than a personal opinion, a wish, or a desire. But it just doesn't mirror one institution, or one state. It mirrors as a whole, the society and the people under it in general. Which includes the Creator of this post as well. As on Wikipedia, 'gossip to be an important means by which people can monitor cooperative reputations and so maintain widespread indirect reciprocity.'

On Hypocrisy:
Hypocrisy is a very bizarre term. It is easier to talk about ideals than being an idealist, (and on which ideal school of thought, is a completely different discussion). But it is hugely unpredictable to know how a certain human reacts in a situation. These situations can range from death of a family member, to a casual dinner date. I would say, one never thinks one is doing wrong until it gets too late.

On the Author:
The author of this post makes a personal rant and complains about a 'country she wants to leave' and a 'college she doesn't want to be a part of'. The only thing that worries me here, is that she only makes such a post after someone made derogatory comments about her on the website mentioned. A personal vendetta, and not a will to stand-up or change anything for anyone else. It would be appreciated if the author realizes that this falls under a wrong of ethics but on a different level. She didn't grow up in an isolated environment, and was a part of the dynamics all of us were involved in.

You seem to be a huge Ayn Rand fan, as most teenage girls are. She despised hypocrisy, but ended up doing a 360 on all her ideals after a particular event. (read about it if you want too)

I have nothing against the author, I know it hurts to read shit written about you anywhere. No one is invulnerable to it. Just that it doesn't mirror any one particularly, but all of us in itself.

Anyway, this isn't Communist Russia >
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:No_chat.jpg

Anonymous said...

As I can't edit my last post, I meant 180.

Manee said...

@Ankur
I totally realize that. I wrote this post NOT because of being perturbed by the gossip, but due to the shattering of an idea that I had in my mind for years. I was actually very close to nitty. :)

@Creation
I don't think much can be done as the website is out on the internet. It is difficult to contain it, I don't want to. I mean what difference does it make that people are posting the shit that they anyway say to each other?
Ignorance is bliss huh? :)

@rj
Trust me, I am so glad that I am going to be in the fourth year soon and this ordeal would soon end :-/

Not Just Another Guy said...

I agree!! Completely! with every single word!

Manee said...

@anonymous
Seems like you have analysed the whole post as a part of some ‘CASE STUDY’ assignment, I am totally amazed by your stoic objectivity. (Are you by any chance a fan of Seneca, the Elder?)
CLEARLY you have no clue what made me write this post! FYI, I have never read Ayn Rand. And there are more incorrect assumptions like this one that you have made, that I need to rectify.
So here I am, replying in the language you understand. I would not negate any of your premises, which is a rule in a good argument, yet weaken your conclusions. Going one by one:
On YOUR VIEWS on Gossip:
You may think it is my first time at being the object of such ‘unwarranted pleasures’ (read gossip). Let me give you a fact – a fact that may again put me in the danger zone of your ruthless judgement, but a fact nonetheless. And that is- I was super famous in my school life. Right from my class third up till my twelfth. I was treated like a celebrity and of course that leads to envy in many girls (I was in a girls’ convent school). I was judged all the time. So I have grown up listening to what people had to say about me and I have had much worse, MUCH WORSE. You kindly re-read the post to discover that the article hardly hovered around ‘gausipp.com’
“It mirrors as a whole, the society and the people under it in general.” - My point exactly :) I was disappointed to discover that NSITians aren’t any different from what goes on in the ‘society’ of a slum area. Going by YOUR generalization.
On YOUR VIEWS on Hypocrisy:
Honestly, I felt it was just random rant. I could hardly understand WHY you had written stuff about ‘reaction of people in different situations’?
Let me know if you are justifying hypocrites. If not, this argument is baseless. It is just a bunch of random opinion.
On YOUR VIEWS on me:
“She only makes such a post after someone made derogatory comments about her on the website mentioned.”
You know, I GREW up being talked about. I was judged at every nook and corner of my school and my society. I wouldn’t tell you the details why, but take my word for it. And I firmly believe- ‘the only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about!’ :-P
I am hardly that well known in NSIT, so the intensity is much MUCH less than what I am capable of taking with a pinch of salt. Kindly observe, this post is not about what I went through by being gossiped about, but rather the breaking of an image that I had of ‘Nitty’ for years. It is shocking for me. Chastity is as dead in India as in any other country. We are at par with the rest of the world. And the only thing that worries ME is that we might just qualify to be the worst.
I have never laid my hands on any Ayn Rand – refrain from making assumptions.
And Communist Russia? REALLY? I am all for ‘speak your mind out’! I am not even in the favour of banning gausipp.com (rejoice if you are one of the makers). I was upset to discover JUST that – NSIT is no different from the illiterate society of goons. As you YOURSELF generalized and I am accepting what you said.
It was my mistake to hope otherwise – to hope better standards from a place where the intellectuals of a city like Delhi congregate.
PS: You cannot know me, or anyone for that matter, reading a single post. It is downright silly to try.

Creation said...

Sigh.
Ignorance, indeed, is bliss. but you aren't ignorant anymore so why act like one?

Posting 'shit' is alright, but this is psychological bullying at its best. It is not only offensive generally but even targets individuals. That's what I seem to have a problem against.

You might be strong and take it in your stride... someone else somewhere might give in to the pressure. Think about it.

Manee said...

@Creation

You stay in NSIT for a year or two and you will know why it is useless to do anything about it than to just accept it.
You know people are blaming me for whining on my blog and destroying the brand NSIT.
Read my post "why life at NSIT sucks" - Part I
You are in the first year na? Come to third year ... all this 'shit' is meant to make you stronger...you CANNOT do anything about it!
Time will explain you what I am trying to. :)
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Usually i dont comment on people's blogs or posts or statuses which i really find hate mails, or stupid mails, or attention seeking mails because i think by responding to them u r helping them achieve their goal of getting attention. But even i've got a limit to refrain myself and hats off to you, you have helped me cross that line.

I mean really i don't have any interests in gossiping about you, or knowing about you (and that includes the fact whether u r a virgin or not), or what you are or what you want to be or whether u like nsit or india or not. I don't give a damn. But again u made me cross the limit because wherever there is u, there is this whole crap about u. You think the world revolves around u, and baby u r wrong!

If u did caught your 2 neighbours talking about u, its not the whole city that is interested in u... they were just 2.If 4-5 people made lewd comments on you in that website, the whole NSIT aren't eve-teasers.

Just because u didn't find people near you to be intellectuals (i don't really know your definition of intellectuals and I DONT WANT TO)... doesn't mean everyone is dumb... maybe you don't really want to find a intellectual because then your hate mails won't make any sense!

Its a mutual process u know... don't judge people and if u r judging them then don't blame the people who judge you... maybe their opinion about u is wrong but maybe ur opinion is also wrong about them!

And ya one advice too... don't judge urself too because everyone is a champion in his/her own eyes... n telling people that u were d most popular girl in school will not make u popular in my eyes too... it will just shatter your image more in front of me.

Now please dont spread any more hatred in the world or in this country or in NSIT... if u want to leave d country or take any actions against NSIT please do so, do not create a fuss about it. And by the way i know leaving the country and then commenting on its incapabilities is so much a more easier solution then to help bring a change.

I had much more to write, but ya i got other things to do too in life.

Live and let others live in peace.

Creation said...

Err, I am in third year in DU. Graduating this year... And trust me, I've SEEN people give in to this sort of bullying which is why the ramifications scare me.

Manee said...

@Anonymous
You are hilarious! Just made my day :)

I scared you...I floored you. Yeah, I believe - Megalomania is its own reward ;)

I'd rather NOT be like you...if being right is being like you.

I figure you are one of those people who are the victims of envy..are you a girl? I doubt because apart from being intelligent and sensible, I am hot and pretty too ;) (Now, I can literally imagine you banging your head against a wall! :P )

And yes, I believe you...people don't give a shit about me. They don't read my posts and leave long comments on it. They don't come back to check my reply and leave yet another hate-comment. Yes yes, I can see so clearly now...the world doesn't revolve around me ;) :P

And on a serious note...I believe being egotistical is better than being hypocritical.

I would've respected you more, had you left your identity. But you are another manifestation of 'gausipp.com'

PS: Love me or hate me...you can't ignore me ;)
Muahahahahaha!! :P :D

God ! You made my day...I can't stop laughing ! :P

Manee said...

@creation

Sorry I mistook you to be someone else, as you mentioned QMS :-|

anyways, I guess I write my blog mostly when I am in a bad mood (which you can see is a rare event...see the frequency of my posts)
But I would still tell you this thing:
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger :)

Anonymous said...

See, with this post, I demonstrate the power of Anonymous and that shall also explain the point I am trying to make.

Do you know who made the previous rant? Was it the same 'anonymous' who made the first post or a different one. Or was it a different person. If I assume, you don't have any sort of IP Recording method in the backend, you'd be unable to find out. (which if you would, just for the sake of using authority over argument, it would be an end similar to most Totalitarian governments and Dystopian fictional and anti-fictional novels. )

And that is exactly the point Anonymous is trying to get across to you. (Except the hundred's other views you have invigorated in your text, which I choose to ignore because that is not what it is about right now).

You don't realize how any Anonymous websites exist as pillars of freedom in this society today. The sense of freedom only a loss of identity can inspire. It starts with how the Internet isn't 'owned' by anyone, and never in the history of humans has such an enterprise ever existed. It has started being used as a tool now, and with time you shall experience, of a drift in the psychology of the entire society. Think of a world where people don't have any sort of responsibility for what they do. Doesn't it make everyone in the society look inward and not follow Doctrines or Religion as a way to live. It inspires independence, and true creativity of thought. Where chaos leads to true Creation.

You and Gausipp are on the same boat now. Even within the post, you make the same point. Think of how Gausipp exposes people and their inner savage desires to come out and see, how people react to them. Never has that been done before, it makes them experience more of their affect on Society. Inturn, them being a part of Society themselves understand a cycle in which they could hurt themselves. That cures the Society.

Why they are like that in the first place? Well, why was man like money in the first place? We are savages in instinct. Like another animal, but what makes us human is our possible realization of affecting the entire cycle in general, which we are a very tiny part of(which a lot of us don't generally realize). I might be digressing now and again, so excuse me about that.

And with inventions and start of ideas, are problems. Problems that don't exist because of the idea but because of the people who are used to ideas from the past. They are not impure, un-intellectuals or any trash talker, as you say, they are just not used to a new idea, and don't understand the use of a a new device at their hand. It will raise its head and usher everyone in due course of time. Technology, isn't evil, the negative manifestations can be.

It seems like a very broad outlook, but I hope you see how the pieces connect and dynamics are explained. I hope you don't buy religion and doctrine as premises for your thinking. 'True thought is independent thought'

(I might be giving it away here now) But it was only after reading through most of your blog, did I make the Ayn Rand rant. It wasn't an assumption, but if you haven't read Ayn Rand, you should. Because she thinks about a lot of things you would identify with, and would eventually come to like it a lot.

There are a thousand other things, that could make for discussions email long. But I don't want to pick them up right now due to the lack of time.

'We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We don't Forgive. We don't Forget'

Manee said...

Blah blah blah!

Get a life dude!
It's MY blog- my personal space.
Who the hell are you?

Don't bore me now. Buzz off you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks manee... atleast i made someone smile today unlike some other people.

And i didn't reveal my identity because i know that then you would have concentrated/judged me more on who i am rather than on what i've written here.

And I am ignoring the other remarks here because i know old habits die hard, can't blame you.

Manee said...

ha ha!
so you have known me personally?
is some kind of long lost vendetta?

Seriously man... I really DO NOT give time to people as much as you do.

I may not ...but you really REALLY need to start looking at this world in better light!

Phew man!
Good luck for life dude.
As you can see...mera man nahi hai discussion karne ka..

uru said...

@anonymous
Have the guts to reveal ur identity or get lost!

Manee said...

@anonymous

As you can see...of all the flaws you have stated in me...I MUST have done something right, to have a friend like Uru :)

Saakshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
A Dash of Ash said...

@Anonymous

Appreciate your view on independent thought and freedom of expression!

Anonymous said...

@Manee If closure was all you wanted, all you had to do was ask.

Manee said...

I refrain from all kinds of unproductive and futile ventures.
You have made up your mind about me, your words suggest me - you have known me, yes. But you haven't been close to me. Rather, I haven't been close to you.
No stranger shall give me so much of time.
And yes I agree, I am an egotistical person (not egoistical, refer - http://www.english-test.net/forum/ftopic15802.html).
But that is because I do not consider it fair to talk and judge others.
I am not even going to judge you. But I believe I mustn't waste my time on something I will get nothing out of.
So here - I ask, not to bother me, in any way.
You are free - free from my thoughts.

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Anonymous said...

I've just been stoned.

'Everyone's everyone'

Manee said...

@Creation

Well I thought I should let you know this. That 'vulgar website' has been shut down. Shut down by the creator itself - due to a huge sudden decline in traffic ( which coincidently concurred with this post of mine!)

So I am glad, something that I was expecting DID happen.
Such anarchic systems where people have zero responsibility and infinite freedom, is bound to breakdown sooner or later. It is the law of Nature.

fishappear said...

Concur - 1. Be of the same opinion; agree.

It can't concur with the 'time' you wrote the post. Perhaps, you meant co-occur. Surely you got that wrong like everything else in your post.

It does concur with misanthropy though. There was no 'Creator' as such. The content was the dishonorable bunch of apes you call the students of NSIT. Project it on a larger screen, and you see that happening with the entire population. 'Power to the people' is now an abstraction. And then people like you, always stand for some sort of control and the righteousness of doing what-ever you are doing. Men are savages and women whores, just trying to do things differently for the past 200 years or so. There isn't evolution in a civic sense as such.

Your blog echoes with despair, when it comes to content, just like that website. I don't know why I even bother with this shit anymore.

Manee said...

so you decide to move beyond the 'anonymous' to 'fishappear' without really revealing anything.

Plus I did mention the word 'coincidentally', dint I? yes, I do understand enough logic not to make the fallacy of 'cum hoc ergo propter hoc'.

And you know why you bother with this 'shit' ? Because it is every savage man's and each sluttish woman's instinct to find sadomasochistic pleasure in such despair.
We say we desire - but who wants that eternal-bliss-crap anyway ? If it is all rosy, it's boring.

But, not that I care what you think, but just so you know, I use this blog mostly as a mental shit-pot. So if you come here, trying to berate me with your pseudo-intellectual gibberish, I really appreciate that. Really. It gives me the high of knowing how good a writer I am. Even if I am writing trash.

Manee said...

by the way
concur 2. happen simultaneously

Obviously you misjudged this just like everything else in your goddamn life.

Manee said...

read the 3rd meaning:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/concur

And boy! You messing with me regarding usage of words?

You poor thing.

mystique said...

@manee- "I love to watch beautiful women. Now I understand that it is an odd statement to make considering I am myself a woman. But I assure you, I am straight." - lifted out of your most recent post.

There can be 2 scenarios-

1) You assuring people of being straight shows hypocrisy. (a word you seemingly use once in every five words you write)Assurance is used when you fear people thinking otherwise as it would seem from this line. How hypocrite is that for a educated person?

2) You didn't intend to use assure and just wanted people to know(in general). In that case, where's the use of vocabulary that you've been fighting over for months now?

Practice what you preach.

Anyways, gausipp is a worthless piece and you should really look at it as a collective of frustrated souls and should feel sorry for them rather than feeling angry.


@fishappear - you seem to love getting into internet arguments :)

Manee said...

@'mystique'
assuming you are a different person altogether (I have my own reasons to doubt that), this is all I have to say:

1. So you are implying that anyone who wishes to be called an educated (yes, we use 'an' and not 'a' before the word 'educated'), should refrain from using the phrase 'I assure you...' in his/her language?
Kindly list me more such words/phrases. I am in a mood to laugh today.

2. I like that. Make fallacious assumptions and then jump to preposterous conclusions. More laughs.

This manee-bashing reminds me of a line by Oscar Wilde (I know I said it already) 'The only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about'.

I have been the center of attention always. So I am used to being both loved and hated.

Criticism is so assuring. :)

Manee said...

Mystique presents a classic case of 'false dichotomy'.

I firmly believe, we all should be magnanimous enough to accept the limits of the cerebral capabilities of everyone. Hence, I shall not blame you for your narrow-mindedness.

Anonymous said...

So, what you're saying is > http://imgur.com/Bp2Rg

Manee said...

Now even my most interesting and interested friends have got bored of you.
I just feel sorry for you. And I am not just saying it.

No further discussions. Clearly, there is no point.

Manee said...

PS: a super woman is bound to have feminine vanity, i'nnit?

Manee said...

Checkmate.

Anonymous said...

Why are the comments on your posts more like a fight than normal discussion....??

Manee said...

@ ^above

It is all resolved now :)